Dear Andie,

I have a dear friend about whom I am very worried. He's smart, creative, and bitingly funny...but Andie, my friend is 30 and has lived with his family for almost his entire adult life. He's significantly overweight and a heavy smoker, his parents still treat him like he's a teenager, and he's a virgin.I'm afraid he might be trapped in his teenage years, and I don't have any idea how to get him the help he needs. I know that people develop at different rates - should I just leave him alone to do his thing? If not, how can I assist him?



Worried in Winnipeg

Dear Worried,

If you want your friend to branch out I would suggest a hobby or sports team that you might join with him. A social activity you can do together will be good for his social skills and also offer a nonthreatening way to meet women. There are many activities such as bowling teams, golf teams, softball teams, bocce ball and bike riding groups which are low stress activities where he could meet people and exercise to improve his physique.

Other than that I think you've hit the nail on the head with your comment, "I know that people develop at different rates". Most likely your friend is taking his time to adjust to the mantle of adulthood. Do the best you can to get him out among people in his age group and eventually he'll find something that inspires him to break the parental bonds.

Best of luck,

Andie East